Tale of a Housewife

From my last entry, we were expecting a bereavement. Sad to say, yesterday uncle passed away in the hospital. Rest in peace, Mr Senior Leow. We will keep auntie accompany as much as we can. Rest in peace.

There has been a series of unhappy things that is happening in the family and mood in the family is not that great.

Expecting a bereavement soon. Its Huijoo’s father-in-law, David’s beloved father. Right now, he’s in SGH, just waiting to die, unable to eat and drink, literally starving to death. Its a painful time for David and his family. To be helpless and can only watch his dad suffer.

It all started 2 months ago, when uncle was suddenly admited to the hospital complaining of severe leg pain. Later diagnosis revealed that uncle had lung cancer at the 4th stage and the cancer has spread to the bones, hence the severe leg pain. As he is already 85 plus, considered too high risk for chemo, he was sent home with heavy doses of morphine which temporary eased his pain but make him sleepy and not lucid most times. Doctor never specify how much time uncle has left, it could be 6 months to a year. When uncle was home, he has good days and bad. Dear hubby even went to borrow a motorised wheel chair so that uncle can move around more freely at home on his good days.

And then on the last week of April, uncle suddenly had diarreao and vomitted whatever food he ate. There are even days when he dont even eat. David sent him to SGH on 29th April, Sunday and since then he was off food by order of the doctor. His intestines are diluted, swollen with feces that only surgery can help clear. The doctor want him to decide by Tuesday. But alas, uncle refused to go for it. He kept requesting to go home. David and everyone pleaded with him to go for the surgery but he flatly refused. N then yesterday, we received the good news that he had decided to go for the surgery from HuiJoo. Was feeling so happy for David and then  the bad news. The doctor said that the decision had come too late. Infections had set in internally, and because uncle had been off-food for too long, his body is too weak for the surgery. So now there’s nothing the doctor can do. So now, uncle cant even discharge to go home to die.

Today, we planned to drop by to see uncle for the last time but Huijoo told us not to as requested by David. Stupid of me. Its a personal time for the family. We had visited him last tuesday, now we should give some space for David and his family to grieve privately. There’s nothing we can do at this moment. I dont even dare to post anything about this on David FB. I dont think its right too.

I am not a religious person but I hope uncle’s suffering will end fast. He is a good person.

这几天心情不是很好。 PMS 再加上Joel在考试。当情绪落到谷底时，谤人做什么，说什么，我都会看不顺眼，莫名其妙的会火冒。就比如说，老人家这几天不知道为什么，老是挑女用。不是complaint女用把她折好的衣服“弄乱”，要不然就是说女用一直做家务！
天啊！女佣请来不是帮忙做家务，难道是摆在家里拜？！！As for the “mess-up” clothes, PLEASE! She was only sorting out whose clothes before she kept them in the drawers. haiz..有时候，我真的真的希望她老人家不要管这么多事！I know she’s bored, but theres nothing I can do for her. 真的。咳。

I have been living in my own bubble of bliss since last Thursday, 20th April 2012. Reason for my bliss? my maid is finally here!! (or rather ahma’s maid.)

She’s fr Myanmar, 26, single n had worked in sg before she was sent back in March tis year becos the prev owners were defaulting on her pay (the cheek!!). Very soft-spoken n eager to please. Can speak mandarin very well (for a maid) n a bit of English. Her salary cost $450 per mth which is shared betw 3 uncles (ahma’s sons), us n huijoo.  Jaden is VERY taken with her. Phyllis is wary of her,eh..cos she’s dun warm to strangers tat fast. Joel is indifferent cos Jo live in his own world only. lol Both the furballs love her! Ben is VERY taken with her – BUT Ben take to anyone who serve him food n give him tummy rub lah..LOL

I AM VERY GLAD that I finally made the hubi give way to me (bomb him with lengthy watsapp when he was in India!!)  and to allow me to get a experienced maid instead of a new one! Where got time to teach new maid? 天啊! I get heartburn just thinking of teaching new maid, scarly lost my temper with her then how? Become another statistic to sg maid abuse.

Anyway, her name is Kyar Hwme, pronounce as Jia Mui. She is a God-Send I tell you! Not that I wan to count my blessings n eggs too early but if u r like me, been slogging for the house cleaniness for 15 years, trying to balance my time betw kids n old folks, keeping up with laundry n dustmites, n upkeeping myself,  u get the picture.

It has been a week since she’s here. My windows are cleaned, my mirrors r shiny, heck! even my toilet bowls smell great!! No kidding! So I really am begining to relax and has been very very bliss n in a dreamy state last few days…lol

N I can finally cook! I can finally cook healthy meals twice a day!!! We were all so sick with packet meals. I mean, COME ON! How many different things can u eat everyday? 菜饭，煮炒，western food, fast food, chinese, indian, japanese, thai… After a while everything taste the same. I am amazed that soups n dishes sold outside can manage to taste the same at every different stores! Its like all the food come from a central factory n the stall owners got food fr it! Amazing!

Not to mention that eating out cost ALOT of Monies! Starting now, I hope to use those monis spent on packeted food on more expensive ingredients so that i can prepare more tasty, healthy meals for everyone!

Ever since the maid is here, I find myself more relaxed, less tense, even at my worst pms days (which was yesd) I dont even flare up so easily, I dont even get irritated by ahma anymore! sigh..I can REALLY get use to this..lol…even the hub feels the different. Properly this is my 好报？

In any case, I hope Jia Mui will continue her current hardworking, eager to please attitute. I will treat her very well of course. Sigh..终于如愿以偿-可以过过当Tai Tai 的日子。hehehe

This is about all my 爱.

My first 爱 is my family. On those rare moments when I sit down to 放空, I am amazed by how much I have achieved! I may not be a career woman (I can never be one anyway~too indecisive n too soft-hearted) BUT Damn am I good at giving birth and running this family! LOL Of course there’s the hubby but he’s camara shy. OK Lah! I dun wan put his pic here can or not? (==)||

 My 3 BoBos who are accountable for my daily roller coaster ride emo.

My next 爱 are my 2 fur balls. Much as I always complaint about how its always me feeding, bathing,walking, cleaning them, I love them quite a bit in my own way. Who buy special food for them? huh huh? who sayang them when their paws accidently got trapped? huh huh? Who cleaned up their accidents n scold scold but never beat? hmm Hmm? Me lah! N I seen the results. Dogs are very direct creatures. Whoever care and look after them the most they will response only to that person. Weird but kinda of touched in a way.

Like when I play “fetch” with Ben, he always fetch the ball back to me. But if halfway through our game, Phyllis intercept and play with him, Ben will still pick the ball back to me. Or if I tell him to go into the cage cos I will be going out, he will without hesitation. But if hubi or kids tell him too, he just walk away. LOL.

Cookie will automatic climb onto my lap when Im sitting on the floor, (actuali she climb onto anyone’s lap!) . Sometimes she just sit quietly wherever I m, be it under the same chair I sitting on, or under the table just next to my chair. Very sweet…until she try to lick me then I will faint from her doggy breath!

My latest 爱 – The I-phone and the I-pad. Both r loaded with games n wats not apps to entertain everyone at every age. I can do without my i-phone but not my I-pad! Really love it!

Of course I have many other 爱 in my life. Like my parents, my dearest sisters, my in-laws, my Coach, my car, my house etc. There’s no words to describle all my 爱s cept that I am a very very blessed woman. Hope everyone is feeling blessed as me!

…not here yet.

Damn the maid agency for wasting my time. To think that they only called me around 6pm to tell me that the maid have some immigration problem on her passport and may need a week to sort it out. Then plus another few days of waiting for air tickets, 2 days at sg maid agency before going to my place, she will only be able to arrive say mid April. Also the maid agent realised that 13th to 18th April is Myanmar New Year so they are not sure whether they are able to get air tickets. All the delays here and there, by then hubi will be back. He’s scheduled to be home on 12th April.

AIYO!!!!

What make me mad n puzzled is, since the agency said that the maid will have to stay at the sg agency for 2 days, that means they already knew that she was not able to arrive 2 days ago and they do not have the brains n courtesy to call me? That’s so irresponsible! I have to watapps hubi with a string of complaints, its maddness! And then they called me becos Hubi called them on board ship, in INDIA, to scold them. WTH? They think very little of the wives in SG isit? Dont they realise that its always the wives who request for maids not the husband? Ok, in my case its the hub. So their bussiness is essentially depend on women?

However, I be honest here. I actually was relief that the maid was not coming. One reason is that I am not in the mood to teach the maid NOW as I having my terrible cramps n period. Another is that I will be in and out of the house, picking sending kids, running errands and I m not comfortable to leave a new maid with ahma alone. I see it as a restriction on my freedom if she’s here now. I rather have the new maid when hubi is in sg.

That say, I hope there will be no more furthur hiccups regarding the maid. If another problem cope up, I will properly see it as a sign that I m not destined to have a maid or this maid. The maid agency said yesterday she will call me to update me about the confirm arrival date. HA! The way I see it, I dont think she will call. Heng! Havent paid them yet so if I reject, they lose. Update soon!

The new maid will be here tomorrow. I am a bit apprehensive about the whole maid thing. Its like half of me welcome the idea of someone taking away most of my chores and helping me with ahma, the other half resent the idea of having my privacy intruded. Well I guess, its not easy for her to be away from her family n staying in a stranger home too.

Haiz..I will in fact be more busy showing the new maid the ropes of housework chores cos she is brand new to it. N ahma will have to get use to her too. In fact every1 have to do some adjustment. haiz..the worst thing I m having my period now n the cramps r killing me! Dont know how i m going to show her the ropes tomoro with these killer cramps.

Wish myself luck! will update soon!

Had a fab time last evening celebrating mum’s 61 birthday. No pics becos we were too hungry. lol

I bought a chocolate cake from Emicake using the Dealguru deals – only $18, i think the usual price is $49. Dinner was at a kopitiam near folk’s home. Intially planned a feasting at the East Coast Lagoon but the sky do not agreed..sigh..we were all looking forward to the bbq chk wings, gonggong etc. O well, I properly plan another makan round next time.

Dinner cost only $106. I would say its very cheap n reasonable considering that there are 10 of us and most of the dishes I ordered was the medium size ones. All the dishes were quite good. The sisters even went to get fried ice-creams!YUM! After dinner we proceed back to folk’s home. Cake cutting at 8pm.

Of course in-between theres alot of silly jokes and catching up filled with laughter. I especially like the part when sansan told me about pervert sightings at their area n proceed to do a quick demo of flashing! Aiya! too bad I didnt caught that on cam!! lol

I had a fab time! Always manage to destress when I went back 娘家. Which is also why I try to create the same kind of environment for my in-laws. Heres wishing good health to mum!!

Hubi leaving on the 18th March this coming Sunday on a almost 1 mth trip to India n Phuket. Although this week the kids are having their 1 week sch hol break, their dad couldnt take leave n bring them out. He’s overwhelmed with work, his new appointment n getting ready for the trip. Sigh. I wish He dun have to sail so long. I am a little afraid of so many things I ve to face alone- the kids, ahma, the new maid arrival, looking after his precious arrowanas etc. I m not sure I can cope with everything but I know I can and I must. Life still have to go on normally for the kids n old folks. I just have to be brave and face everything as I had over the years. Its just that this year, I not sure why, I just feel tired n no mood for anything. I just want to laze around not doing anything, not worrying about anything, nothing. sigh..BUT its not possible. Nevermind. I will declare a few days break just for myself after hubi is back on 12 April. Yes..tats long he has to be away…long for me. sigh

I went to Malacca again last Sat. It was only a 1 day trip, went on Sat n back on Sun. I need to get away for a while n hubi humor my request to go back malacca even though, to be honest, it can be boring there. But I just want to get away, to take a break somewhere where theres no mad rush to send kids to their enrichment classes, rush home to buy meals for ahma, endless houseworks n kids’ homeworks to see to etc.

So when Sat rolled around, we packed the sleepy n excited kids n away we go. Our first stop was Jusco n Aeon shopping center. Its huge! The last time I was there with sisters n parents, it was our last stop so we only manage to browse Jusco the supermarket. This time round the kids n us almost manage to browse the whole mall. I say almost cos firstly, we were super tired n really need to check-in into our hotel. We were expected to check-in at 1pm but have to leave the mall at 3pm.

Secondly, Jaden pulled his leg muscle last weekend during his gym lesson n it decided to give JJ alot of pain that resulted he cant walked on the Friday before we leave for Malacca. We rushed him to Yu Guo which is a TMC specializes in 小孩推拿 located at Kembangan. N the 骨科 sinsei said that his leg n back alignment was out. He make Jaden lie on his tum, put his legs together n we were shocked to see that JJ’s right leg (the injured one) was about 1 cm longer than his left.

Luckily the sinsei said that its not a serious injury n then he proceed to “push back” the right leg into the proper alignement. Jaden was very brave. According to the sinsei, there will be some pain but throughout the 推拿 Jaden just keep quiet and 任人摆布. I think he rather enjoy the “massage”!! LOL

So anyway after this 推拿, JJ need time to recover hence he was limping on Sat and couldnt walk too long as it hurt. We manage to secure a cute push car fr the mall for him to sit in it though n he totally enjoy it, pretending he was a policeman patrolling the streets! We did not bring his stroller with us this time round n I actually regret it. Its always like that. You always need the things you dont bring.

Back to the hotel. Still staying at Fenix Inn. This time round I ask for a room with window. Frankly, should not have bother cos both windows r facing other ppl’s house..diao…plus I was given the new building behind the exisiting hotel n it was still going through some renovations. So it was a bit noisy when we checked in to rest. Plus the walls r thinner here, so whenever ppl passes our door, talked or just knocking on their own room door, we can hear them loud n clear!

Luckly we were too tired out n just plain crush thru our nap. However its still a much improved room from the old one I had stayed-at least the bathroom is very new! Service is still great! The receptionist is a jolly malay guy who confesses that he remember us becos of our car n unusual car plate number. But alas he cant afford a Honda Freed as its x in msia n his pay scale do not allow it. So cute n touch to be remember…even though its thru our car..lol

We just spent our short trip browsing the nearby mall n eat anything we fancy. It was short n sweet. I came back not so angry n stress. Love Malacca but its getting a bit boring for me. I saw alot of new construction for malls coming up. Hopefully the next time I come by, there will be new suprises.

Now that I m slightly recharge, I will be welcoming a Myanmar maid somewhere on 27 March if theres no delay. Finally cave in to get a maid. The expenses will be shared n bored by ahma’s children n of cos we had a share too. Afterall, she’s here to help me with the housechores too so that I can free my time to concentrate on the kids. But her main job is to look after ahma.

Of late, its getting very challenging for me to balance my time for ahma, the kids n the houseworks. As with age, dementia has set in for ahma and I find myself more n more impatience with ahma though its no fault of hers. The gulity feelings, the anger directed at her n myself- its giving me alot of stress. I have find myself stretch beyond my limits n the first tell tale sign is my heart which has start to skip daily due to stress. Now, I have to take this tiny pill everyday to relax so that my heart will beat slower n reduce the skip beat.

I have no regrets though going through so much shits becos I have seen how Phyllis bloosom into a more thoughtful teenager. I mean looking at some of the teens nowadays, I m glad at least Phyllis is unique n special n has so far never give me a reason to wori about her dressing, her way of thinking etc. I hope the boys will take a leaf from Phyllis and grow up to be a understanding n sensible adults. Also, I find that our family has grown closer n stronger over the years. The bond is there n I m glad that my sacrifice has not being wasted.

Until then, it will be a new chapter after the maid is here. Will update abt her then.